YuGiDoh! 2
by The Bovinator
Summary: The return of Yu-Gi-Doh, this time on a trip to visit their sponsors, Konami Corp. Be afraid! (Note: original also posted here)
1. The Evil Begins!

**YU-GI-DOH!**

**2**

By Liquid Snake

Disclaimer:  I have return-ed, to preach the word of the Lo-ord onto you.  Thall shalt not sue, for I havest no money.  I have n-ot stolen these char-acters or the corporation of Konami, I am borrowing them in the name of the Lo-ord.  And the Lord sayeth, thou shalt review this holy fic!  Now let us j-oin hands and praise this fic!  Hallelujah!

-Insanities, 1:26

It was a wonderful day in the land of Duel Monsters, until evil entered in the most unlikely form…

Yugi: Lala-Lalala!  Lala-Lalala!

Joey: Shut up!

Tristen:  I'm not being paid enough for this.

Teya: Be happy, everyone!  (Jumps up and down)

Joey and Tristen:  Shut up, Teya!

Yugi:  Yeah, Teya, shut up!  Lala-Lalala!  Lala-Lalala!

Narrator:  Thus began the evil that plagued the-.

Yugi:  Shut up!  Lala-Lalala!

(_Random Figure appears from nowhere)_

Random Figure:  Yugo Moto (What kind of retarded name is that?) I challenge you do a Du-du-du-du-dudududu-Duel!

Tristen and Teya: ………………………….

Joey:…Don't EVER do that again…

Yugi:  Yea!  A duel!

(Blinding flash of light, Yugi is now Yagi)

Joey:  AGGGGG!  I can't see!  (walks into tree and is K.O'ed)

Tristen:  You need to buy some sunglasses, Joey.  

Yagi:  Now we shall Du-du-du-

(Joey regains conciousness, and throws a rock at Yagi before lapsing into unconciousness.)

Yagi:  Ow-ow-ow-ow-owowowow-OW!

Narrator:  I'm not being paid enough for this.

(Random Dueling Stadium materializes from nowhere)

Yagi:  For my first card, I play Giant Soldier of Stone in Attack Mode! (1300/2000)

Random Figure:  I play the Unstopable Thingy in Attack Mode! (999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999/999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999)

Yagi: What the F&*K?!  That card can't be real!

Random Figure:  And I attack!

(Stone Soldier Killed, Yugi's life reduced to -999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 997, 999) (Check, it's true)

Yagi:  I must have faith in the heart of the cards…

Random Figure:  You lost!  Deal with it!

Yagi:  I never lose!

(Yagi charges the Random Figure and impales him using his hair)

Yagi:  I knew this hair would come in handy one day.  Now if only those weevils would stop nesting in it and burrowing into…my…skull….

Tristen: We have to get to the bottom of this!  To Konami Headquarters!

TO BE CONTINUED!


	2. Over the Wall!

YU-GI-DOH! 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer:  And the angel of the Lo-rd sayth, if thou desirith to read the holy disclaimer, thou must movith back to Chapter 1.  The angel sayth, I am too lazy to rewrite the same old crapith, and I have better things to do with my time.

_-Idiocies, 6:24_

Author's Note: One of the reviewer's of my last chapter, a :P (if that IS his real name!) reviewed my fic, saying that the character Yugi transforms into is Yami, not Yagi.  I would like to say, thank you for taking the time to review my fic.  I appreciate your input.  I would like to say one thing, however: SCREW YOU!!!!!!  IT'S NOT LIKE I CARE!!!  GO GET A LIFE, YOU ASS, AND DO SOMETHING BESIDES WATCHING CARTOON NETWORK AND PLAYING YU-GI-OH!  DON'T EVER REVIEW MY FICS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

…. Okay, on with the show.

When we last left off, Yugi and company were on their way to Konami H.Q., trying to find out why the company had allowed such ridiculous cards.

Yugi: Lala-Lalala!  Lala-Lalala!  

Tristen and Joey:  Shut up!

Teya:  Now guys, don't get excited (giggle)!

Everyone but Teya: ………

Yugi: We are HE-RE!!!!

Tristen:  Yugi, you are such a loser….

(Group walks up to Konami gates, which are covered by sentries and Cypher's)

Yugi:  Only one thing we can do:  Metal Gear Yugi!

(Yugi puts on skintight sneaking suit)

Tristen:  Uggh… that suit shows way more than I want to see…

Teya:  He looks kinda cute!

Joey:…he's five…whore….

(Yugi sneaks up wall and begins to dodge guards, but gets caught (Cue MGS2 music)

Guard:  He's in the area, send backup.  And hurry, I'm just an extra who is likely to die at any second.

(Floor opens under guard and causes him to fall to his death)

(Guard team responds to call)

Yugi:  I'm caught!  Where's my ninja blade?

(Konami Lawyers take over bodies of response team)

Konami Lawyers:  Copyright violation…Metal Gear Solid 2…Must destroy (or fine) offender…We're going to enjoy watching you die, Mr. Yugi.

Yugi:  But isn't that a violation of The Matrix's copyrights?  You're acting like Agents, and you stole that last line from Agent Smith.

Lawyers: That does not compute…Overload…

(Lawyers explode)

Yugi:  Something truly sinister is at work here.  I'm not sure what, though, because those weevils…are…eating…my…brainpan…

(Joey, Teya and Tristen appear on the other side of the gate)

Yugi:  How'd you get there?

Joey, Teya and Tristen:  We walked through the gate, it was open.

Yugi:  Oh, damn…

(Group enters Konami HQ)

(Scene switches to top of Konami HQ)

Mysterious Voice:  Hahahah!  Those fools are right where I want them.

Mysterious Voice #2:  But that wasn't part of your plan at all.

Mysterious Voice:  Shut up.

WHO ARE THESE MYSTERIOUS PEOPLE?  WHAT DO THEY WANT?  WHO CARES?

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. The HQ and the New Millenium Items!

YU-GI-DOH! 2

**CHAPTER 3**

Disclaimer:  And the word of the Lo-rd was sent down from the heavens: if you're still lo-oking for a disclaimer, you are one d-umb fool!  Now, let us begin!  Hallelujah!

(Inside Konami HQ)

Yugi: Lala-Lalala!

Joey: I swear to god, if he keeps this up…

Teya:  I think it's cute!

Tristen: Why did I go with these idiots?  I could have gone to college, made something of myself, but no!

(Group enters Konami R&D room)

Joey:  Look, it's the next set of Yu-Gi-Oh! Merchandise!  Hey, it's the Yu-Gi-Oh! Boardgame!

Tristen:  This is just Risk with the figures changed.

Teya: So what?  The card game was just Magic the Gathering with a few rules changed and some zeroes added to the numbers.

Yugi:  What's next, Yu-Gi-Oh! Dice?

Tristen: They already have that.

Teya:  Look, it's the next set of Millenium items!

Yugi: Looks like I get…The Millenium bong!  I've always wanted one!

Teya: And I get the Millenium Bra!  Tee-Hee!

Tristen:…Whore.  I get the Millenium Hair Gel!

Joey:  I get the Millenium Rapper Chains!  What's up my HOMIES?!

(Disturbing Silence)

Joey: Never mind.

Mysterious Voice: Turn around!

(It's Kaiba!)

Kaiba: I challenge you to a Du-Du-.

(Joey throws brick at Kaiba)

Kaiba: Ow!  Alright, let's do this thing.

Tristen: That sounded so dumb…

(Brilliant light)

Yami: Now you cannot see, Kaiba, due to my blinding light!  I am victorious!

Kaiba: (Takes off sunglasses)  Not quite. 

Yami: You fiend!  

How does this battle end?  Review with suggestions, and stay tuned for the next chapter! 


	4. The Duel with Kaiba and the Shadow

**YU-GI-DOH! 2**

**CHAPTER 4**

Discl-…aw, screw it.  By the way, for those that care for some reason, I'm going to write Tea instead of Teya from now on, alright?   Now, on with the show.

When we last left off, Kaiba and Yugi were about to duel.

Kaiba:  Well, well, ready to loose?

Yugi:  Address me with the respect I am due as PHARAOH!!

Kaiba:  You aren't a pharaoh, you're some punk-ass teenager from Japan.  And Japan and Egypt have nothing to do with each other.

Yugi:  Shows how much you know!!   Uh….

Kaiba:  Whatever, for my first play, I play Blue Eyes White Dragon!  (3200/2000)

Yugi: I play Dark Magician in attack mode! (2500/2000)

Kaiba: You fool!  I attack your Dark Magician!  It's dead!

Yugi:  No, because I play the Incredibly Obscure Magic Card of DOOM!!!!  It destroys your creature and deals you 2000 Damage!  I win!

Kaiba:  ….You can only play magic cards on your turn.

Yugi: Did I say magic?  I meant trap. (crosses out magic symbol on card and draws trap symbol, colors card purple)

Kaiba: Oh.  Well, I still have 6000 life. 

Yugi: No you don't, we play with 2000 life, and you're at 0.

Kaiba:  Only on the show, idiot!  In the real game it's 8000, and I'm at 6000.

Yugi: 2000!

Kaiba: 8000!

Yugi: 2000!

Kaiba: 8000!

Yugi: 2000!

Kaiba: 8000!

Yugi: 2000!

Kaiba:  Oh, screw this!  (Pulls out handgun)  Now I shall become PHARAOH!

Yugi:  I thought you said I wasn't Pharaoh.

Kaiba:  Uh…Shut up!

(Mysterious Shadow appears from nowhere and grabs Kaiba)

Kaiba:  Aggh!!!!! (Vanishes)

Yugi:  What was that?!  There's only one way to find out, to risk our own lives for no apparent reason by going deeper into the tower!

(Yugi and crew go to next floor)

Tea: I don't like this, Yugi.

Mysterious Figure: As well you shouldn't!

Everyone: GASP!!!

Who is this figure?  What does he want?  Why is it that only my friends, Yu-Gi-Oh! Freaks and crazed anime fans with split personalities review my fics?  Find out next time (except for that last one) on YU-GI-DOH!


	5. The Mysterious Figure

YU-GI-DOH! 2

**CHAPTER 5**

Disclaimer:….no.  Seriously, if you're still looking for one, you need help.  I mean, for crying out F**king loud!  

By the way, thanks to all my reviewers for your support.  You guys kick ass!  And I deeply apologize to anyone I offended with the "split-personality-anime-fan" thing.  You guys are funny, and more importantly, you think I'm funny.

Two more announcements before the show begins.  One, my bio is now improved, complete with stupid quotes!  Check it out.  Two, somebody PLEASE review my Matrix fic.  All my proof-readers say it is good, so check it out.   Please!

Now, on with the show.

When we last left our crew, a mysterious figure had confronted our heroes…

Mysterious Figure:  Now you will know true pain!

(Mysterious Figure is revealed as Richard Garfield, creator of the Magic: The Gathering card game)

Garfield:  You've been cutting into my profits for to long!  Prepare to die!

(Enter Mysterious Figure 2)

Mysterious Figure 2, in voice of 40-year old man:  I'm gonna fuck you bastards up!

(Mysterious Figure 2 is revealed as…PIKACHU!)

Pikachu:  You've been stealing my fans for to long, you fucking bastards.  I'm gonna fuck you up!

Yugi:  Alrighty!  We're gonna Du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-duel!  Tra-la-la-la!

Joey:  (Punches Yugi in the head)  Bling-bling!

Tristen:  Whatever, I'm gonna go wax my hair spike…

(Exit Tristen)

Teya:  Go YUGI!  (Changes into "revealing" chearleader outfit)

Joey:  Whore…bling-bling!

(Blinding flash, Yugi changes into Yami)

Yami:  Prepare to face your DOOM!

Pikachu:  I still have my secret electrical attack!

Garfield:  It isn't a secret after you say it out loud, dumbass.

Joey:  You're a fool!  Bling-bling!

Pikachu:  Shove it, ya fucking bastard!

Yami:  Now we shall duel!  For my first card, I play-.

Pikachu:  PIKACHU, ya fucking bastard!

(Pikachu uses electrical shock-attack-thing)

Yami:  I am unhurt!

Pikachu:  Bullshit, ya fucking bastard!

Yami:  My hair acted as a lighting rod to draw your electricity.  (Yamis hair bursts into flames and falls off)

Garfield:  I still have one trick left: Harvard MATH!

(Richard Garfield begins reciting long strings of mathematical problems)

Everyone but Richard:  IT BURNS! Y=MX+B!!  AGGHHH!!

(Mysterious voice #2, from chapter 2, calls out)

Mysterious voice #2:  Interesting.  Charades are always amusing.  But it appears everyone here is long overdue for retirement.

Joey:  What the hell?  Bling-bling!

Who is this Mysterious Voice?  What does he want?  Why do I constantly repeat the same hooks at the end of all my chapters?  The answers are coming next time on…

YU-GI-DOH!


End file.
